Self Esteem Therapy in Oakland
Do You Struggle With Low Self-Esteem?
There is a powerful connection between our sense of self-worth and how we feel about everything else in our lives. When we have an overly critical or negative view of our abilities—whether it comes to our performance, achievements, or relationships—it can become very difficult to maintain a balanced, self-compassionate mindset.
If you experience challenges with self-esteem, you may have a hard time trusting yourself and your decisions. Maybe you feel afraid to take risks, express yourself, or establish firm boundaries, causing you to feel stuck in relationships or patterns that aren’t working and don’t make you happy. You may also feel consumed by thoughts of comparison and inferiority, arriving at the conclusion that you’ve “fallen behind” in some way.
Self-esteem issues can be hard to detect because they can be specific to just one aspect of life. For instance, you may feel really secure in your relationships but self-conscious about your work performance—or you feel good about your career but insecure in your relationships. Perhaps you’re able to celebrate other people’s accomplishments and empathize with their obstacles, but when it comes to your wins and losses, you struggle to be kind to yourself.
Self-Esteem Issues Often Result In Self-Destructive Behaviors
Sometimes we can numb self-critical thoughts or “fill the void” with quick fixes that offer temporary relief. For a lot of people with low self-esteem, they may turn to substance use, self-injury, excessive gaming or scrolling, or concerning eating and exercise behaviors for relief. These issues can live deep within the body, creating physical discomfort and somatic symptoms, including exhaustion from always having to battle negative thoughts and self-criticism.
Low self-esteem is not a character flaw—it’s just a signal that your relationship with yourself needs healing. Working together in therapy for low self-esteem, we can create a life that enhances your confidence, connections, and sense of empowerment.
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Healthy Self-Esteem Often Needs To Be Learned
Many aspects of our society are essentially designed to make us feel bad about ourselves or like we’re not enough. The constant need to produce and achieve is unsustainable, and the pressure to succeed often presents itself very early in life. Add this to a world increasingly shaped by social media, and comparisons to others are practically inevitable.
We are also sold the lie that “having it all” is possible, and if we don’t, then something is wrong with us. This sets unrealistic expectations for what success looks like and can make it especially hard to ask for help as feelings of shame accumulate.
But if low self-esteem is impacting your ability to connect with yourself and the world around you in a meaningful, fulfilling way, you deserve the healing that can be found through counseling. In this process, you will explore when and where your self-esteem issues originated, how they impact you today, and constructive steps you can take to create new, more adaptive patterns in your life.
My Approach To Therapy Improves Self-Esteem Through Healing The Relationship With The Self
A significant aspect of therapy for self-esteem is understanding the history of your challenges so that I can individualize the counseling process as effectively as possible. As I gain an idea of where, when, and why these challenges appeared, we can create achievable goals and a treatment plan that will ultimately improve the relationship you have with yourself.
What To Expect
My approach is informed by psychodynamic therapy, which focuses on the relationship between early life experiences, patterns of responding to our environment and relating to others, and how these aspects of the psyche affect our self-perception.
I also incorporate aspects of mindfulness, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) to slow automatic response patterns and improve emotional regulation. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy may be incorporated to address self-esteem issues that have resulted from trauma. And if helpful, I may assign “homework” to support treatment goals, self-care, and accountability between sessions.
As a seasoned therapist who has worked with people from many walks of life, I have seen how counseling leads to greater self-confidence, more robust self-efficacy, and higher self-esteem. As you learn to accept yourself despite challenges that come with the complex histories, limitations, and imperfections that all of us possess, you can learn to create a more expansive life and develop your self-esteem through therapy.
Frequently Asked Questions About Therapy For Low Self-Esteem…
As a therapist, do you have experience working with clients who have self-esteem issues?
I’ve worked with many, many clients over the years and while there is no one specific concern they each bring to therapy, self-esteem issues are a common thread. When a client’s sense of self-esteem is low, they are more likely to experience symptoms of anxiety, depression, and problems in their relationships.
I offer a consultation so that you can get an idea of how my therapy approach addresses self-esteem. I do not use a one-size-fits-all approach for any issue that a client brings to therapy—always individualizing the experience to your unique needs and goals.
That said, I am committed to helping you find the therapist who will be the best fit for you. So even if you decide that my approach isn’t quite what you are looking for, I’d be happy to provide additional referrals to therapists who may be more aligned with your goals.
I’ve tried to address my self-esteem issues with therapists in the past but did not get the relief I was looking for—what makes your counseling approach different?
It makes sense that you question if change is really possible, especially if you’ve struggled with self-esteem issues for a long time despite seeking treatment. One aspect of my approach is to orient our early sessions around understanding and developing your goals. I want to get a full idea of what healthy self-esteem looks like to you so that I can individualize therapy as effectively as possible.
Throughout the process, we will work to monitor your progress and adjust as needed. A psychodynamic approach to counseling can be slightly more gradual and subtle, but part of this work is recognizing the little changes that add up to the bigger ones over time.
Will I be judged for seeing a therapist?
If you struggle with low self-esteem, it’s possible you value what others think above what’s more important, which is how you feel. If this is true for you, part of our work together will be examining why you put such a high value on what others think about decisions that belong to you.
It’s ultimately up to you whether or not you feel ready to engage in the counseling process, but I am confident therapy is an effective way to overcome feelings of low self-worth and low self-esteem.
You Are Brave to
Consider Therapy
Therapy is a meaningful way to address self-esteem issues that may be impacting your performance, relationships, and ability to get your needs met. For more information or to get scheduled for our first session, contact me.
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